Black Book
by Jake Delfeir
Summary: The journey has ended, but remnants of the long-forgotten past cannot be silenced forever. And there is one that truly wants to be heard... no matter what it has to do to Jenna and her friends to do so. An extremely dark fic - read at your own risk.
1. Innocence

**Author's Note: **I had an idea for a darker kind of fic a while back. While on holiday, I had some spare time to shape my ideas into a working story, and now here it is. Firstly, though, I have some warnings to give. Number 1 – I have a tendency to be extremely detailed and vivid in my descriptions, and considering the darker nature of this fic, this means that light-hearted people may want to avoid it. Number 2 – characters WILL die in this story. If you don't like this concept, then don't read ahead. If neither of these apply to you, then please read on.

**Disclaimer: **Golden Sun is the intellectual property of Camelot and Nintendo, protected by world copyright laws. As such, I do not own the world, characters, or setting, but am merely borrowing them for the use of a private story which is gaining no income. Since this also fits in with the copyright laws, don't try to sue me or I'll be forced to eat you.

**BLACK BOOK**

**Chapter 1: Innocence**

"And so," Kraden said, pointing to his blackboard with a stick, "From this chart we can properly determine the relationships of the four elements of Alchemy. Are there any questions?"

Felix raised his hand, eliciting a small groan from Garet and Sheba who just wanted to get out of there.

"Yes Felix?"

"I'm curious about something," the brunette-haired man said. "In our travels we found several examples of what appeared to be a darker type of Psynergy... in particular, the different kinds of Psynergy recorded in the Tomegathericon that we acquired in Kibombo. Where do they fit into this?"

"A good question," Kraden said. "However, these Psynergy are no different from other kinds. They don't belong to a mysterious 'fifth element' or some such nonsense. They still correspond to one of these four elements, though their connections may be tenuous at best. For instance, the ability to summon a Zombie can be linked to Mercury, since the reanimation of a dead body mirrors the Mercury power to revive, correct?"

"I guess so," Felix conceded.

"Right. Any other questions?"

There were no takers.

"Very well." Kraden nodded and placed his stick on his desk. "That'll be all for today. Class dismissed."

Thankful to be away, most of the ex-adventurers hastened from Kraden's home into the relative freedom of New Vale. One, on the other hand, chose to remain behind.

Jenna walked to the door of Kraden's home once everyone else had departed, but stopped in her tracks suddenly and turned back to him, easing the door closed behind her.

"Excuse me, Kraden?" she asked. "Can I have a favour?"

Kraden gave her a warm smile. "Certainly, Jenna. What do you need?"

"Well..." Jenna pursed her lips for a moment. "I'm looking for an empty book of some kind. I've been writing a journal for a while, but I ran out of pages. Now I need a new one... do you happen to have anything like that?"

"Hmm... I'm not too sure Jenna," Kraden said apologetically. "Most of the books I keep have been used prior to my acquiring them, or I'm already using them in my own notes. However..." he gestured to one of his bookshelves. "On the fourth shelf from the bottom is where I keep the books that I've written in personally. You might want to check there – there might be something I haven't touched yet."

"Thanks Kraden," Jenna said, moving up to the bookshelf and crouching down, bringing her eye level to the correct shelf. She tapped each book as she read the spine.

"Reactions of animals and plants to Psynergy stones... Examples of Psynergy... Alchemy's place in Weyard..." her finger stopped over an unmarked book. Hoping that it might be empty, she pulled it from the shelf and inspected it. It was a simple, unadorned book, wrapped in leather binding that had been dyed black. Although tough, it otherwise looked fairly unassuming.

Jenna placed her finger along the edge and flicked open the cover. Her previous observations were suddenly set aside – the interior of the cover was traced with a large and complex golden pattern. It was difficult to make out any distinct references about the tracery – it was seemingly drawn out completely at random. Yet for an unexplainable reason, Jenna was drawn into its twists and turns, keeping her attention riveted on the page for countless seconds before she tore herself free.

A remarkable book, she thought before glancing at the first page. It was blank and unmarked. Hopefully, she turned to the next page, and the next, and the next. Nothing. Several more flicks confirmed the emptiness of the item and so, content in her discovery, Jenna closed the book and looked back over the unmarked binding and cover. For a brief instant, she was apprehensive about taking it with her... something in the air didn't seem right. But then the feeling passed, and she straightened.

"I've found one," Jenna announced to her mentor, turning around to face him.

"That's good to hear," Kraden said. He looked over at her and peered at the book through his glasses. For a moment he stilled completely, looking at the cover intently. "I don't recognise that one... most unusual, since I know where just about every one of those books on the shelf came from."

Jenna shrugged nonchalantly. "That's not really important, is it?" she said. "As long as you're not using it, may I have it?"

Kraden peered at the book for a moment longer, before looking up at the Mars Adept's keen features. "Well, I suppose it can't really hurt. An ordinary book like that isn't going to harm anyone. Go right ahead."

"Thanks Kraden," Jenna said cheerfully. She smiled broadly at him before proceeding to walk out the door and into the open air.

Jenna and the others had been in Vale for several months now. Or rather, what had once been Vale. When Mount Aleph had collapsed after the Golden Sun had risen, the village had been swallowed with it. The tip of the mountain remained unburied, however, so the reconstructed village had been built using it as a focal point. Although it was still unfinished, New Vale had more or less returned to full capacity.

Because the village had been laid out in a new fashion, Kraden's house was not as far from the general area of Vale as it had been previously. It was only a brief walk before Jenna arrived in the plaza, looking out for any of her companions.

It was Sheba she located first. Or rather, the god-child of Lalivero found her.

"Hi Jenna," Sheba said as she sidled up to her friend from her loitering position near an equipment store.

"Hi Sheba," Jenna replied. "What's happening?"

"Nothing much," she answered. "I'm just wandering. Felix and Piers are talking about the boat... I get the feeling that Piers wants to leave and travel around again in fairly short order. Oh yes - I think Ivan and Isaac are trying to needle Garet into telling Mia that he loves her."

Jenna glanced sideways at her. "What's this?"

"You remember the Jupiter Lighthouse?" Sheba continued. "Well, I think they're now convinced that Garet jumped off after her because he has feelings for her, and Ivan seems intent on playing the matchmaker all of a sudden. Garet's adamantly refusing it at the moment, though."

"Uh huh." Jenna thought about this for a while. Once upon a time she'd had a crush on Garet, just like she'd also had one with Isaac. This was a few years back, however, before everything had happened. She was older now, and had experienced a lot more. Now she wasn't so sure about where her feelings lay, let alone whether they even still existed or not.

Of course, since the cacophony of her life had finally quieted down, and everyone was settling into a peaceful existence, now seemed the perfect time for everyone to pick out life partners for each other. Jenna held no doubts that someone else would put her in the same situation soon.

Right about now seemed as good a time as any to start, it seemed.

"And when Ivan's finished with Garet," Sheba said with a grin, "I imagine he's going to team up with the big goof and tell Isaac to confess his true feelings for you."

She'd hit a soft spot and Sheba knew it. Jenna blushed heavily, and she immediately looked away. Before she could react, Sheba went on.

"It's only a matter of time," the blonde-haired girl said in a light, satirical voice. "The two who have forever kept their feelings buried deep within their hearts will soon be free of restraint. Soon, they will be together in joyous romance forever more..."

Jenna managed to compose herself, though her cheeks were still tinged with red. Quickly thinking of a way to get back at her, she turned back to face Sheba and grinned.

"Yes, I can imagine just how much you desire this situation to occur with my brother."

Sheba stopped her mockery and glanced at her, worry in her features. "What?"

"I know all about your hidden desires," Jenna said, her grin widening. "You think of him during the day, watch him as he rests during the night. Your dreams are filled with the romantic vision of Felix flinging himself from the Venus Lighthouse, his only concern saving you from an otherwise certain death."

"Alright, fine!" Sheba said hotly. "I'll shut up if you do."

"Deal."

Neither spoke for a few moments while they worked on altering their features to a less embarrassing level before continuing their small talk. After having so much weight placed on their shoulders, possessing the freedom to talk of simple matters like crushes was a blessing.

Then Sheba finally noticed the small bundle Jenna was carrying.

"Hey, what's that?" she asked, peering at the small black object held in Jenna's folded arms.

"Just a book," Jenna said. She was a little apprehensive about the sudden inquiries, just like many females tended to be in regards to their diaries. Her previous one had been a secret to most people, and especially Sheba. Her good friend found entertainment in pestering Jenna about these things.

"What's it about?" Sheba pressed on. She held her gaze to it, an interested expression on her features. "That doesn't look like many other books I've seen. Most of them actually have something on the front."

"It's not about anything. I was going to write in it, is all." Jenna shrugged, hoping that Sheba would drop the subject. She never had previously, but perhaps today would be different.

"Oh really?" Sheba said, making Jenna inwardly curse her luck. "What about? Do you want to take over for Kraden? Write a story? Recall our adventures across Weyard, making us look as noble and exquisite as possible?" She struck an illustrious-looking pose after the last comment.

"Something like that, yes," Jenna said hurriedly. "Nothing special."

Seeing that her long-time companion was going to remain silent on the matter at hand, Sheba simply shrugged and turned the conversation elsewhere, though inwardly she was determined to find out for sure later. Thankful for the distraction, Jenna placed the book under her arm and tried to make it unnoticeable. She desperately wanted to keep the existence of the item to be a secret.

As the day wore on and the sky darkened, Jenna eventually excused herself from the presence of Sheba and returned home. Home. It was a wonderful thing to possess when it had been lost for so long. For three long years she had existed under the belief that she was the only member of her family still living.

Now, she was reunited with them all. Her mother, her father, her older brother and herself had returned to Vale and resumed a normal life there. Well, as normal as was possible for two heroes of the world... despite how disbelieved that was. Many still considered the lighting of the beacons to have been a foolish mistake, and were anxiously awaiting the day when Weyard collapsed in on itself in a spectacular event as a direct result.

Jenna simply shrugged off these people and tried to take up where she had left off. This was a difficult task in itself though, since she wasn't quite like everyone else in Vale. She had seen too much to be completely content in her surroundings... the splendour of the outside world outshone the efforts of Vale in many respects. She found it highly unlikely that she would be able to remain there forever... one day she'd drop everything and return to the other places she'd seen in her travels.

In the meantime, however, she simply had to cope with what existed in the here and now. Keeping that thought firmly in her mind before she suddenly sprinted off to steal Piers' ship, Jenna continued her approach to her house. Hearing activity inside, she opened the door and entered.

"Hi," she said simply. Her mother stepped out of the kitchen carrying a small load of plates, which she deposited onto the dining table.

"Hi Jenna," her mother answered. "Dinner will be awhile, but since you're here, can you stick around? I don't want to have to go searching for you."

"Okay," Jenna answered, "I'll be in my room when you need me." She proceeded up the stairs and into the second level, taking a sudden turn into the nearest door. Her bedroom – a quiet little place for her to find solace. Dragging her boots off, she sat on the edge of the bed and placed the black book beside her.

"Might as well start," Jenna said quietly to herself. She picked up the book again and placed it in her lap before pulling a small stick of charcoal from her nearby table. Most published books were written using quills and ink, but Jenna had always found it much easier to use charcoal.

Laying down on her bed and propping the book against her raised legs, she flipped open the cover. Once more her eyes darted over the pattern, making her lose focus as she inspected the swirls, darts and twirls of the gold tracery. Subtle chaos spread across her mind, blurring her concentration and almost luring her into sleep. Suddenly regaining her control, however, Jenna hurriedly flipped the page over, blocking the pattern from view. One page unused wouldn't affect too much.

Placing the charcoal against the paper, she began writing. It was a startling process. In only a few moments she had pushed aside the shell of the Vale tomboy and unlocked the core of her emotions, putting everything she had inside onto the page. Freedom was a big thing for Jenna, who had been locked underneath a mantle of identity since her family had disappeared. Her cloak had been so vast that who she had been before was forgotten by most people. In order for it to continue, she had kept everything in paper. All her journals since the boulder incident still remained in her possession – the one true window into her soul.

Now she was continuing that paper trail, adding a new chapter into her memories and feelings. She wrote for countless minutes, losing herself to her words, before she finally concluded and stopped to admire her handiwork.

_It's been a bit of a habit lately to write a journal... ever since my family's disappearance, my abduction and then my adventures I've felt the need to write down what happens to me. Since I finished the last journal recently, I really wanted to continue, so this page hereby marks the start of a new book. A very curious book, too... for some reason, I seem to lose my senses just by looking at the front cover. Or rather, the golden pattern on the cover. It doesn't really have a shape as such... it's extremely difficult to describe. All I know is that looking at it seems to draw me in, as if the pattern is observing the depths of my soul. As stupid as that sounds._

_Well. I got the book off Kraden – he wasn't using it, and so he gladly gave it to me. He seems pleased that I'm writing a journal like this. About as pleased as when me or just about anyone gets involved in some kind of academic process. I swear, the old man thrives on mental activity – he seems to suck it out of the air and grow stronger in its presence._

_Other than a lecture about the four elements of Alchemy as part of our daily studies, not much happened. I spent most of the afternoon with Sheba, just talking about various things. That reminds me. She mentioned something about Ivan believing that Garet has feelings for Mia. An interesting idea, isn't it? I never really pictured the two together... quiet, graceful Mia compared to big, loud, brash, but loveable Garet. I suppose the two could be compatible... they say opposites attract, after all._

_Still... I've been wondering about myself lately. Myself and my feelings for others, that is. Everyone seems to be pairing up with one another recently, now that everything has returned to peacefulness and the only thing left to do is wait for the outcome of Alchemy's release. Because of that talk with Sheba, I've been considering my own feelings about others a lot more tonight._

_For example, this Garet liking Mia thing. I remember that a while back, I had a crush on Garet. A young girl kind of thing, maybe, but it certainly persisted for a while. Then again, I had the same thing going on with Isaac simultaneously. Of course, he's one of my best friends also, but it's hard to gauge any kind of feelings from him because of his quiet personality. _

_Garet, on the other hand... it was plain to see that he was attracted to me for a little while, as well. He's kind of forthright in that respect, but still really nice and kind about it. Lots of people think of him as brash, noisy, and dumb, but I've seen the real caring Garet underneath. And yet... I'm not sure if I really like him in that way. Of course, I'll always be willing to call myself his friend. Whether or not my feelings go beyond that is something I can't really say._

_This is really interesting. It's something I never really pictured myself doing... considering that my future path in life may be intertwined with one of my best friends. For so long we've all been together... myself, Isaac, Garet and Felix. It seemed natural that I would end up with one or the other... no-one questioned it, but no-one considered it. Then my family disappeared, and everything we had ever known fell into complete chaos._

_Now I'm debating on paper whether I hold feelings for Garet. Whether he may hold feelings for me. Who he may hold feelings for instead. Something that I never would have conceived a few years ago is something I'm now entirely focused on solving. Do I really have feelings for Isaac and Garet? Is what I feel for them the same as what I feel for, say, Sheba – that of good friends? Do these feelings go deeper? Are they returned?_

_Maybe I should think about this whole Garet and Mia thing. I don't really know how deep they truly interact... I wasn't exactly present for most of the time they've been together. They seem to be friends, despite Mia's quietness in contrast with Garet's forthright exterior. I never really saw any signs that they felt deeper emotions for each other, but that does not really mean much. After all, we were all under duress – beliefs that we had held dear to our hearts for so long were completely shattered and reversed. Our own feelings came second – what mattered the most was our duty to Weyard's future._

_Still, I suppose I can see where Ivan is bringing his argument from. Garet _did_ throw himself over a high up ledge in an effort to help Mia. No matter the outcome, that does count for something. But did it stem from something personal, or was it just big-hearted Garet kicking in? Did anything happen between them that I was never aware of?_

_Garet is a nice person, despite how he can act. No-one can truthfully say that he is simply a mindless, muscle-bound idiot... they don't know him like I do. There is so much more to him than meets the eye – much more lies beneath the surface of Garet than most others I've ever known. I could see Mia developing feelings for him, and I can easily see Garet returning them. But I just don't know... and I especially don't know if I even fit into the picture._

_Do I fit? Am I just reminiscing on a previous, childhood crush that I held? Or do I really hold this to my heart in longing? I just do not know. I wish I did._

_I suppose I have written enough for now. I may continue later if I get any more ideas on this topic.._

Jenna nodded upon completing her read through. Absently, she scratched her face, and was surprised to find moisture there. Tears...? Perhaps she truly did feel deeply about this whole thing.

Pushing aside these thoughts of uncertainty, Jenna closed the black book and placed both it and the now-smaller stick of charcoal beside her bed. Writing her feelings was a form of escape for her – just for a little while, she was free of the Vale Tomboy shell she had created for herself and was able to truly express how she felt.

"Jenna! Dinner!" her mother called up to her. As if on cue, the brunette girl's mind came to focus and she could hear the scratching of wooden chair legs against the floor. Background noise suddenly came to her attention, which she had blocked out while in the process of writing. Crickets chirped in the still evening air outside. Elsewhere in the village, some continued to work on reconstruction even at this hour. A child was crying, people were talking, and for the most part people were going about their normal lives.

Bringing her wandering mind to bear, Jenna extended her legs over the side of the bed and stood up, quickly leaving her room and proceeding to the dining room.

-

Dinner was uneventful, and peculiarly quiet. Although some conversation was passed between Jenna and her family, they mostly seemed preoccupied with their own thoughts. Jenna took little notice of this – instead, she excused herself upon completing her meal and proceeded to go for a walk in the evening moonlight.

The light was fairly strong that night – the sky was cloudless, and the moon was nearly full. Perhaps that was why a few people continued their construction work this late into the night – it was still bright enough to make the chance of an accident much slimmer. Also, considering how close everything was to completion, many people were pushing for a final home stretch.

Apparently, Garet was one of them, as Jenna found out shortly into her travels. Her fellow Mars Adept companion was climbing a ladder to the top of a half-finished house when she spotted him.

"Good evening Garet!" she called out to him while still a fair distance away.

Upon hearing her voice, Garet glanced over his shoulder. Even with the darkness clouding her sight, there was no mistaking the friendly smile planted on his face. The expression sent a slight pang through Jenna's heart... the topic of her writings remained inside her closely, making her question her relationship with Garet once again.

"Hi Jenna!" he replied before turning back to the ladder and climbing onto the roof proper. "What brings you out here?"

She forced down the emotions inside her and smiled up at him. "Just walking. What about you?"

Garet shrugged before crouching down and beginning to thatch the roof. "This house is almost finished, so I thought I'd do some more work tonight and save myself the trouble tomorrow."

He had been working fairly hard on the reconstruction work as of late. Considering his strength, the adults of the village had singled him out fairly quickly for aiding them in their tasks. Garet had been working diligently, but he made it fairly obvious that he wanted to spend more time with his friends and companions, so he went to extra effort to ensure that he could do so.

"Well, be careful up there," Jenna said. "I still remember what happened with Isaac's roof."

"I do too," Garet said. "Don't worry, I'm being careful not to tread on the thatch work as much. It's a lot easier to tell the difference now that I've actually been making the stuff."

He certainly sounded a little more mature than Jenna remembered from before their journey. Perhaps it had helped him grow up a little. Perhaps it had helped them all.

"Alright then," Jenna said with a nod. "I'll see you sometime soon?"

"Sure thing," Garet replied, while still concentrating on his thatch work.

And yet for some reason, Jenna felt uneasy. Nonetheless, she continued walking, moving past the half-finished house and towards the village centre, where the tip of Mount Aleph still existed.

She hadn't gone far when she heard Garet exclaim loudly.

"I don't like the sound of that!" he said. Jenna span around in time to see Garet shimmy backwards towards the ladder. Following this action came a loud, ominous cracking noise.

A pang of fear gripped her tightly. Jenna knew that something was going to happen now. She was completely aware that this would not end well. And yet this feeling passed in an instant, and the thought vanished as suddenly as it appeared. Now she was left to watch in fear and anguish as Garet hurriedly stepped onto the ladder.

It was a mistake. For the cracking sound had not been from one of the supporting beams in the roof.

It had been the ladder itself.

"What in the he-" Garet began, just as the ladder snapped loudly again. The rung he stood on splintered in half, and the ladder began bulging in the middle. Garet lost his footing and grabbed the tip of the house roof with his hands while his legs flailed uselessly in the ear.

"Garet!" Jenna yelled out, rushing forward in an effort to help him from his predicament.

Before she could take another step, though, the guttering on the roof gave way, and Garet was left without a handhold as well. Unable to grip any longer, he fell to the ground and struck it hard. Jenna was certain she heard a sickening crack as the big man hit the compact road.

And the guttering followed him.

As did the now collapsing ladder.

Jenna could now only watch in horror as the wooden beams fell through the air towards the Mars Adept. Without hesitation or remorse for the human life beneath them, they hit their mark. The guttering landed at the base of Garet's chin and crushed the neck, instantly shattering his windpipe with a nauseating gurgle. In the meantime, the broken ladder pieces span through the air before landing on his chest.

But the broken rung that he had stood on moments ago landed with their broken, frayed edges pointing down. Their momentum broke through Garet's skin and pierced his torso in two places. Blood began seeping from around the edges of the wounds, and the big man did not move.

"...oh my god..." Jenna whispered. It was impossible... what she had seen hadn't really happened. It was all a hideous nightmare... it wasn't real... it wasn't real!

She was not sleeping. She was wide awake and staring at the motionless form of her friend.

"Garet..." she whispered. And then louder. "GARET! DAMNIT GARET, WAKE UP!"

She wanted to run to his side and help him. Desperately she wanted to get there and stop the damage. But her legs refused to move... suddenly they were shaking violently, and Jenna slumped to the ground rather than fight to maintain her balance.

"GARET!" She yelled into the night as tears rolled down her cheeks at the sight. "SOMEBODY HELP ME!"

-

**Author's Notes:** I scare myself. Really. Just a note – if I get a single review celebrating the fact that I picked Garet to get seriously injured, I will personally turn into a Dragon, fly to your house and consume you where you stand. I _like _Garet – he's a great character. I chose him for a plot-related reason, and if a Garet-basher appreciates what happened, rest assured that I _won't_. That being said, this concludes Chapter 1 of my first attempt at a much darker fic than my normal stuff. If you're still reading, thanks for sticking around... hope you enjoyed it as much as you can for this kind of thing. Leave a review if you want, and see you next chapter. Hopefully.


	2. Casualty

**Author's Note: **To anyone who read the first chapter of this story however many months – or years – ago it was published, please forgive this insanely long delay. It was never in my mind to not continue this story, but I always found it hard to do so. Much of what follows has actually been in existence for a long time, I just never found a way to finish it. But it's here now, and while it's nothing like Project Psynergy in my mind, I'm still proud of it.

Now then, let's resume what is arguably the darkest thing I've ever written.

**BLACK BOOK**

**Chapter 2: Casualty**

It seemed like the whole town was crowding around the accident zone. All were peering at the sight, pulling younger children away from the gristly scene and staring at Garet's prone form.

They were treating it like a tourist attraction in Jenna's mind. She was at the outer rim of the group, struggling to hold back her tears. Unable to do much in the way of assist, she was now observing anyone with any form of healing Psynergy working on trying to restore Garet to a stable state.

But it was nearly impossible. Jenna had seen it. Even the most talented Adept in the world would have been powerless to help. No matter how hard Mia or Piers or any other healer tried, there was little they could do for a broken windpipe. Even if the other wounds didn't get the Mars Adept, there was no way they could fix his breathing.

It was a miracle that his heart was still beating when Jenna had first dragged herself to him. Garet's face had rapidly been turning blue from lack of oxygen, while the blood pooled around him from the sickening wounds on his torso. She wasn't a good enough healer to tell where the wooden shards had landed, but she guessed that at least one organ had been punctured.

He was gone. Nothing could be done. Garet was going to die.

There was a slight murmur running through the throngs of townsfolk as they debated whether he could be saved. As if to answer the questions running through the minds of those collected, however, Piers stood up. Even the rapidly darkening night could not disguise the mournful expression on his face.

"...he..." the Lemurian struggled to say, but then he just lowered his head and shook it. The murmur increased to a steady buzz of conversation, as Jenna's thoughts were confirmed.

It wasn't fair. Nothing they had ever experienced before should have led to this. They had journeyed from one end of Weyard to the next, exploring every little area and facing threats the likes of which no-one else could imagine. All of them they had stood against, and all of them they had beaten back.

And now... to fall to something as simple and yet as tragic as a breaking ladder... that was not how it should be. Every system of justice in the world would raise a cry of anger from this outrage, yet the deed was done. Garet's last breath was fading fast.

It was all too much for Jenna to bear. Shutting her eyes against the new stream of tears, she groped her way blindly through the crowd and began to run through Vale. No destination resided in her mind... she just had to get away from what she had seen. She had to get away from where her friend lay, dying.

The voices of the people faded behind her as Jenna's feet pounded the ground, running to who knew where. Her chest was tight from sadness, and her breathing was harsh and ragged. She didn't care. Her running legs carried her further into the night, passing beyond the ring of buildings that was Vale and into the open wilderness beyond. She didn't care.

Suddenly, her leg twisted in a hole in the ground, sending sharp jolts of pain through her body. Jenna cried out as she lost her balance and hit the ground with a thud. The wind was knocked from her lungs, and her chest burned with pain. Suddenly unable to move, Jenna simply lay on the ground and continued crying.

She was not one to shed tears lightly. Even the disappearance of her family had not exuded from her as many sorrowful moans as she gave now. But the sense of injustice weighed down upon her heart more than Jenna had ever experienced before, sucking every last ounce of sadness from her being. It was if the world had raped her. Taking away Garet was the most treacherous, horrible thing that it could have done, especially considering what she had fought through to protect it.

"He's dead," she whispered into the dirt beneath her. "He's dead... dead..."

She couldn't stop herself saying it. She needed to get the grief free, or it would consume her entirely. And so she stayed there for an unknown period of time, her physical pain forgotten, repeating the words over and over as the night continued on its course.

Finally, as sadness gave way to exhaustion, Jenna closed her eyes and willed the comforting darkness over herself, giving into the peaceful state of sleep even as her mind continued to twist and roil.

- - - - -

Her parents were worried, but not angry. They understood how much grief Jenna was experiencing. They understood that she had just experienced the death of a close friend.

Upon her shambling return to Vale covered in dirt, sweat and tears that morning, she had learned that Garet's heart had finally ceased beating shortly after she had run. The entire Jerra family was understandably in mourning, as were many people in the village.

Jenna didn't want to go out there. She didn't want to face the truth. She was home now, lying on her bed after having changed into clean clothes, staring up at the roof. Her tears had subsided, but not the dull, heavy feeling of loss and sadness that had attached itself to her heart. It didn't seem likely that she'd ever get over this pain as long as she lived.

Garet Jerra. One of her best friends. A bit clumsy sometimes, and occasionally a little brash. But he was the most loveable person she'd ever known... a kind, caring, compassionate person who had always put his friends above himself. Such a person was rare in the world... and such a person was now rarer still.

Garet. A person she'd always felt kinship towards. A person she'd possibly even felt love towards. Gone. It didn't seem possible, and yet already her mental image of him was fading away…

Sighing heavily, Jenna lowered her gaze and rolled over on her bed. Immediately, her eyes were drawn to something there. Absently, she reached over and gripped the object with her hand, pulling it towards her. Her journal – the black book.

The Mars Adept stared at it for a moment, almost ignoring it's existence entirely. Her mind was elsewhere... she didn't want to concern herself with the book at the moment. She didn't know if she could face the emotions that writing about the recent occurrences would bring on. It had taken all her effort and all her willpower to subdue it the previous night... the last thing she wanted was to be confronted by the onset of those ravaging emotions again.

Jenna returned the book to it's place once again. She was fighting the temptation to go outside and find her travelling companions. The band of adventurers had been reduced in number by one after the journey had concluded... no doubt they had things to say to each other. But for the same reasons as she was forestalling writing about the newest events of Vale, Jenna was putting off coexisting with her friends.

Sighing, she decided that she'd have to do it sooner or later... it was probably best to go now. She couldn't be the only one suffering at the moment, so it was her obligation – her duty, even – to help everyone get through that situation. In particular, Isaac... she knew him as well as she knew Garet, and they had all been the best of friends in their youth. But she had been away... they had come after her on their own. They had still been with one another.

At a time like this, his sudden loss would have been overwhelming even for the normally quiet, calm, and resolute young man. Making up her mind, Jenna reluctantly slipped out of her room and headed outside, her destination the plaza. It was the usual meeting place for the entire village, and even the heroes gathered there.

From a distance, Jenna could see them convening already... everyone from the group was assembled. Most were standing in a circle, the most notable Mia... her face was hidden behind her hands, and it was clear even from here that she was crying her heart out. Sheba and Ivan were trying their best to comfort her, but it was clear that they were suffering too.

Beside that trio was Felix, Piers, and Isaac. They were talking quietly amongst themselves... or rather, Felix and Piers were. Isaac was standing there, looking lost and distraught... a completely foreign expression on his normally calm features. Even like that, though, there was still some level of control in his face.

Her own tears were returning, but Jenna stubbornly forced them aside... amazingly enough, the urge ceased almost instantly, leaving her feeling calm and stunned. That was odd... nonetheless, she stepped up to the group. All of them noticed her, but they didn't say anything immediately... Mia was too swept up in her grief, and Isaac seemed too detached to do anything.

The look on Isaac's face was haunting Jenna, somehow.

Without warning, the tears returned again... she wiped her eyes, but the tears refused to stop. Absently, she felt arms around her, looked up suddenly. Felix was there, doing his brotherly duties, giving her a compassionate hug.

"We're all sorry," he murmured to his younger sister, and Jenna immediately gave in and started crying against him completely. Time slipped from her comprehension and she had no idea how long she was there... it could have been seconds, it could have been minutes, it could even have been hours.

Finally, the tears ceased, and she looked up. Everyone was still there, and Mia had calmed down at last, though she was still stricken. Piers was talking to her now, as well as Sheba and Ivan, though the words swam in Jenna's mind and refused to be made sense of.

With a start, she realised that Isaac was gone. Slowly, she let go of Felix, and he released her hold on her. Apparently he was lost for words on what to say to her. She just shook her head slowly and walked away from the others.

She needed to let herself out again, and that was something she couldn't even do with Felix... she needed to write.

- - - - -

_I can't believe it... he's gone. Garet is gone. I don't want to write how here... I have little doubt that I'll remember every horrible moment for the rest of my life. So it's not necessary to put it here._

_I knew when I first saw his wounds that there was no hope for him. I'm not much of a healer... my healing capabilities are extremely limited. But even Mia and Piers working in unison were unable to save him. The moment I knew for certain that there was no hope, I couldn't control myself... I ran. I ran until I couldn't run anymore. And then I simply collapsed... my emotions just got the best of me, and I let them out in a ceaseless stream until I fell asleep from sheer exhaustion._

_When I finally got home, the first thing I really did was go in search of everyone. They weren't hard to find... most of my friends had gathered to discuss what had happened. Obviously, everyone was deeply saddened because of Garet's loss... but there was more. There was an underlying feeling amongst them, hidden beneath their features. They feel just like I do. They think that this is injustice in it's pure and most hated form._

_Garet was our companion. Our friend. In times when things seemed at a loss, his cheerful nature pulled us together and helped us to fight on. Without him, we could very well have been lost. Without him, we really feel lost now._

_Isaac especially..._

_Isaac, Garet, myself... along with Felix to a lesser extent, we've been together since childhood. We've grown up around each other. We know each other like the back of our hands. The three of us... our relationship was so close that when one of us had a problem, then the others could immediately sense it. Isaac himself has told me that he and Garet both felt at a complete loss when I was kidnapped – as if a piece of the world that is so integral to existence has been removed, leaving all involved in a dazed and confused state._

_Now is no different. But then, it is. Despite how hard this is for me, though, my own connection with Isaac and Garet was reduced slightly in my absence. Yet they remained together, constantly on my trail. Their ethereal connection remained untouched._

_No longer. Their connection has been severed completely, never to return again. And now Isaac is floundering; reeling as if he's been struck by an arrow. He's lost, he's confused, and he's horribly upset. I've never seen him like that... despite everything, he's always been a resolute figure. He may not have been as uplifting as Garet, but his words of wisdom and courage compelled us to keep pushing on, no matter what._

_These words have disappeared inside him entirely, just like Garet. His best friend has been violently snatched away from him in perhaps the worst situation possible. I remember that once, when my parents were lost, Isaac was there to help me. Garet was too, but Isaac especially stood out like a beacon of hope. He too had experienced a loss, but he had almost taken it in his stride. His own feelings were secondary in comparison to my own._

_...I cannot believe I am writing this. Feeling this. In such a time, I am actually considering... I am considering that I held affection for Isaac, too. I can't deny that at one stage of my life, I have, just like with Garet. But now, in such a time, consumed by grief at the loss of my friend..._

_Isaac helped me once. He pulled me back from the depths when all reasoning in my mind had evaporated. He saved me... and now, the situation seems to have reversed. Isaac is lost, and I'm here, writing in this book, about how I want to help him recover. All of a sudden my grief at Garet's passing has been pushed aside... all I can focus on is helping Isaac._

_This... just doesn't feel right... why is it so? Thinking these feelings... it makes me feel like I'm betraying my companion. The mourning and grief has passed in an instant and already I'm talking to myself about Isaac's recovery... about... about how I could very well be feeling love towards him. Just like I was feeling about Garet yesterday._

_...I don't want to continue writing like this..._

Jenna placed the charcoal and the book on her desk, lying back down on her bed. Immediately, she felt tears well up. She felt so vile, so wrong... how on earth could she be doing this? It was like she was forsaking her friend, so close to his death... why? What was coercing her to think like this? Her grief was fading already, only hours after it had happened…

As long as she held that book in her hands... the small black book with the mesmerising pattern of gold... a powerful desire fell upon her to constantly write her emotions down. But it was almost impossible to write of Garet anymore... no matter what, she couldn't bring herself to speak about anything other than her concern for Isaac. What was going on? Even with the outflow of emotions, she somehow felt emptier than before.

Almost as if on cue, she heard a soft tapping at her door. She wiped her eyes on her sleeve, and turned towards the door. Her voice choked up on her tears, and suddenly she found it difficult to say anything.

"Jenna?" said the person on the other side of the door. Her heart skipped a beat... Isaac. "Can I come in...?"

"Of course," Jenna responded, immediately annoyed at how raspy her voice sounded. She didn't move from her bed, just looked up at the ceiling. The door opened, and Isaac slipped in, looking at her.

"Sorry to bother you," he said quietly, taking up a spot near the door and looking at the ground. Jenna moved her gaze over to him, noting that once again he seemed completely calm... any form of distress was gone from his features. "I thought you could use some company."

Taking a deep breath, Jenna sat up on her bed, swinging her legs over the side and standing up to meet him. Without warning, she took hold of his upper arm and gently led him out of the room. "I do... and I also need some fresh air..."

Tears were creeping into her eyes again, but it wasn't caused by grief... this time, it was the sudden lack of grief. She no longer felt bad about Garet... everything was slipping away. Now she was more focused on Isaac all of a sudden. Why...?

Isaac nodded at her statement and walked with her. They left her house and walked through the village together, though quickly Jenna decided that she didn't want to be around that many people. She wanted solitude... or at least, she wanted no-one but Isaac there to share her grief. Thus, she quickly manoeuvred him away from the village and led him to the outskirts.

Finally, he broke their silence.

"I just had to know if you're okay, Jenna. This whole thing... I feel absolutely horrible about what happened to Garet. It doesn't feel right... it shouldn't have happened. Not here, not now, when everything has finally subsided and all the tragedies had ended..." Isaac sighed. "But I don't care about myself. I want to know how you're doing about this whole thing..."

"Why?" Jenna whispered, recalling what she had just written. "Why concern yourself with my feelings? You were closer to Garet than me... far closer. I should be the one worried about you... I _am_ worried about you."

Isaac shook his head. "I do feel his loss. Believe me, the feelings are strong in my heart... but... Jenna, do you remember when our parents disappeared? We all thought they died... we know better now, of course, but at the time you were completely crushed. You barely ate, you barely slept, you barely reacted at all to anything... you were so distraught. Your emotions are far stronger than mine... I was hardly able to mourn my own loss. Especially considering that you were suffering in front of me."

Jenna felt the lump in her throat rise, and she choked back tears. That wasn't true... if her emotions were so much stronger, why was she rapidly becoming numb to Garet's loss? Why, instead, was she focusing on Isaac? Why couldn't she mourn like she really wanted to...

"That's not true," she sobbed.

"It is true... even if you don't think it is. I know it." Isaac lowered his head.

By now, neither of them was focusing on their travelling path, and so they were wandering aimlessly through the outskirts of the village. A dim noise was building up at the edge of their hearing, and it took a moment for Jenna to understand – they were nearing the river. Though Mount Aleph itself was gone, the river that had weaved through the village of Vale and out towards the sea still remained, and now they were following it's weaving pathway.

"...thank you," Jenna murmured.

"Hmm? For what?" Isaac asked.

"You followed me all the way around the world in an effort to save me. You and Garet... you went to the ends of Weyard to find me and make sure I was safe. I don't think I ever thanked you for that... so thank you."

Isaac gave a slight smile. "How could I do anything else...?"

"I... you could..." Jenna stopped. Immediately, something swelled up inside her. Her current mood was forced aside, being replaced by vehement rage. How _dare_ they?

"I refuse to continue this," she hissed quietly, drawing a curious stare from Isaac. "Garet is _dead_. We will never see him again. Yet what are we doing? We're talking about each other. It's like we don't care... it's like we are completely ignoring the fact that he ever existed."

"Jenna..." Isaac said, shock registering on his features.

"Earlier today, I was writing in my diary. Almost without realising it my thoughts switched from Garet to _you_, Isaac. I thought of you, and how bad you must be feeling in this situation." By now, Jenna was completely furious. "And then I came to the point where I wanted to comfort you. Where I didn't want to see you hurt. I stopped caring about Garet entirely... even now I can barely think about him. Instead, all I can see is that I feel affection for you. My own needs are second to yours – I just want to make sure that you're okay, so I can satisfy my own feelings for you!"

Isaac's expression was awash in disbelief. "Jenna, please, calm down..."

"I won't calm down!" she yelled, tears beginning to fall from her eyes. "I refuse to calm down! We're barely acting like humans anymore... we've given up caring about our fallen comrade. I don't want to be like this... Garet was my friend... I want to care about him... I want to care..."

Immediately her rage subsided, replaced by sadness. Even with her outburst, she couldn't think of Garet... everything remained just as it had been before. Her emotions were running rampant now, but they were evading that particular topic as if it was plague-ridden. It wasn't fair... it just wasn't fair. Garet was gone... the least she could do was honour her friend. But she couldn't...

"I...I'm sorry Jenna." Isaac lowered his head. "I'm so sorry... I don't know what I'm saying. This is so strange… I don't feel like I should… I feel just like you do..."

Silently, he started walking away from her, continuing to follow the contours of the river. Jenna felt a deep pang in her heart, joining the mass of ill feelings that swirled within her chest. As if it wasn't bad enough that she couldn't feel anything for Garet's loss, now she was pushing Isaac away with her words...

"Wait," she whispered. "Isaac... I-I'm sorry...I didn't..."

More words tried to form inside her, but they faltered as she witnessed what happened next.

Isaac continued to walk just by the water's edge. Unexpectedly, his foot came to rest on an uneven stone resting by the river. As he tried to take another step, his boot slid off the stone, making him lose his balance. Almost immediately, Isaac fell to the side and into the river.

It had been raining lately, and as a result the river was moving at a slightly accelerated pace as the runoff from the mountains sped up the current. As a result, Isaac was sucked completely into the water.

"Isaac!" Jenna cried, rushing to the river. She expected him to get to the surface in moments and reach the bank again. But he didn't... he remained submerged, getting pulled along by the current.

Her heart started pounding fast, and she started sprinting. "_Isaac!_" she yelled again, even though he wouldn't hear her. Jenna continued to watch, mentally screaming at him to get out of the water.

Then she noticed the swirling red trails.

"Oh no..." she whispered. Blood.

Completely ignoring any desire for her own safety, Jenna threw herself into the water as well and swam towards Isaac. She clutched him tightly in her arms before kicking to the surface. Every other need was secondary once again... now she desperately needed Isaac to live. Fighting against the current, she dragged his prone body to shore.

_No… not you too... Please be alive..._

- - - - -

**Author's Note: **No promises on when the next update is. If you read this or Project Psynergy a long time ago, you'd understand what I mean about irregular updates. This story isn't finished yet, however. Still, this chapter gave me huge amounts of difficulty, and this has to have been the hardest thing I've ever tried to write without giving up completely. I don't know why... but it is. Don't be surprised if the next update doesn't happen immediately.


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